At this advanced stage of my life and ministry I have come to appreciate that Christian faith is relational. Yes, I know that's hardly rocket science, but I think many people live their lives in boxes. I lived like that for many years. I used the bible as my manual of, or for, behaviour. I guess my Calvinism gave me a structure to do that. The irony of this evangelical position was that I was living life from the outside in. Those criticisms of my perception of Catholicism  were faith and works are reversed had become part of my faith.

My boxed faith provided structure and security as long as I stayed inside. In terms of living that made my life all about apologetics so the usual suspects raised their heads:abortion, homosexuality, the resurrection, speaking in tongues etc. After all these years the penny has finally dropped. The bible, which is God's inspired word is a record of God's people and how he has worked with them over the centuries and the chapter still being written is the 29th chapter of Acts. I want my life to be about winning the battle. I want to read the stories and watch the movies of people who win the battle  despite the difficulties and sometimes the battles we fight are very difficult.

.Because my faith is relational, with doctrine init and with poetry , history  mystery etc it is dynamic and does nit always give the answer simply because it asks questions about faith. The bible is about trusting God and we are called to walk by faith and nit by sight. What rocks my boat today is hearing about the struggles that people have and how they win their way through, winning the battle. I know the end of the story is that God wins because because he has already and that means we win but the battle is still to be fought. Recently I watched the remake of Karate Kid in which  this comes across very clearly:like all Hollywood productions we know the kid wins  but we get caught up with the fight and the tension asks the question," does he really win?" Of course he wins but he still has to get up of the floor after being brutally attacked. His opponent tries to break his leg but he does get up, he shows honour in the face of dishonour and courage in the heat of battle.

At this stage in my life I want to leave the box and live in the real world, not that I no longer believe in the contents of the box but I want more of the relationship and the only way to experience that is to put my faith to the test. Staying in the box raises questions which only counteract other questions. My faith is not static and fixed but dynamic because my life is changing also. The box makes me feel secure but I need testing.