It seemed like a good idea at the time. The plan was to avail of one of the really good hotel deals at this time of the  year- they want to make use of their rooms at  a slack period so they make an offer you can't refuse. A weekend in romantic Donegal to help in my rehabilitation and give Gillian a break what could be better?

It all started well and we enjoyed a nice dinner by the Foyle estuary and Gillian's favourite wine. Some time during the night it all wdnt wrong. She became violently sick and I was fast asleep. Normally speaking I am the one who struggles to get asleep and am very easily roused but not this time. The lights went in and the sickness was vicious and projectile bzt I was oblivious to it all.

Obviously the best laid plans of men do not always come to fruition. Sonetines we like to think  we are masters if our own lives and we can control things but it is all a myth. 

Conflicted mind

For nearly three weeks Gillian and I have enjoyed spending some time with our son, Peter and his wife, Malia in Seattle. To make it more sweet we came to meet our first grandchild, Jack, who was born on the 6th January 2013 six weeks premature. When he was born he weighed just over Four lbs and now he is over ten lbs.

His arrival into this world was more than a little traumatic so seeing him and spending time here has been very special. He shares my name and I also had a traumatic Christmas. Just a few days before Christmas I was taken into hospital and had surgery on the 21st December. While I lay in my bed he was making a bud for freedom and his mum was struggling with a collapsing placenta so there was no way they were coming to see us in Belfast, Northern Ireland.

Al in all we have shared bounds. So it will be difficult saying goodbye come Friday knowing we will not see him again until next Christmas when he will be nearly one!  We will be full of contradictions as we get on that plane. Thankful fir his safe arrival into the world and for his mother' safety also but part of us will die within.  We will be happy that he has family around him but envious that his other grandparents will be able to drive to his house and share his life as we will not. We will be conflicted, as my son was at Christmas when he wanted to with his father but also with his son and wife. We will be conflicted because we have a daughter in Dublin whom we also love and two other sons. Since my illness I been made aware again that I am greatly blesssed by my family for their love and support. As we leave Seattle we leave part of us behind, no longer able to walk the floor with Jack when he needs comforting, no longer able to help his parents but looking forward to seeing the rest of our family and very grateful to our heavenly Father for His incomparable love.

Being a father teaches you about God's love but being a grandfather and watching my son become a loving father reinforces those lessons and makes me appreciate the circular nature of life were the man becomes father. Now I can appreciate some of the cost of being a parent from my parents' point of view. I think I was a better father than I was a son but I am hardly the one to make that judgement call.

How much more has it cost my heavenly father to be my father! In that respect there is no conflict.

Weak or Deep?

                                               
I don't know about you but I get confused and a little irritated by the deep desire so many church experts have to pigeon hole people. They used to talk of,  protestant and Catholic and then it was Charismatic but that was not enough as there always were liberal and conservative churches and some who were millennial and pre-millennial or even post millennial.

Today we could add missional, gospel-centred, seeker friendly, emergent and emerging and now we have Deeper Churches. When will it all stop?  I want to make a plea that we stop putting people into boxes and let them develop their relationship with God.  Don't let yourself get side tracked by trying to be like some other church even if it has been successful.  Just be true to yourself. The truly authentic church will not copy others but will carve out an identity and ministry like no other. The truly real church will be Christ-centred and people - orientated. Every Christian is called to be a witnesswhere God has placed them. It frustrates me no end when every church in a community, even when there are many churches in that comity feels the irresistible pressure to compete with each other. If one church has a youth club, senior citizens club, Sunday School and day care then my church has too also. It seems very sensible to me to say that the principle is that we should not have a program unless we can do it better than everyone else or if no one else is doing it. It seems clear to me that 

Christians and the churches they belong to should be community involved and should be without walls. 

God works in us for our good?

Some of you will know that I have been recovering from illness for the last few months. The good news is that I am about to get back to work in the next few weeks. At Christmas it semed that my world was crumbling before my eyes. It was supposed to be very different: the intention was to have the while family together.Mark was flying in from Sierra Leone, Peter and Malia from Seattle,  due on the 20th December, and Ruth was coming for a whole week from Dublin. Stuart,Gillian and I in Belfast were very excited. Then it  all went squint.

It was the Friday before Christmas and the pain was becoming unbearable. At one point the pain was so bad that I cried out to God, asking that he take the pain away and sort out the problem once and for all. The last time I  experienced such discomfort was 46 years ago when I  was diagnosed, eventually, with Ulcerative Colites. It came in waves of cramp which made me curl up in the featel position. I was in''' no position to make any decisions so it was left to Gillian to make them for me and that she did. Ringing the after hours doctor an ambulance arrived to take me to the Accident and Emergency. From that moment it was like events had a life of their own.

The surgeon recognised the probem immeditely but waited to see if it progressed or even, as unlikely as it was, it might respond to treatment. After a week of antibiotics and painkillers progess was the result and surgerz te onlz waz forward. Athis pint I  entered a dark time. I knew there was a distinct possibility that while surgery would deal with the pain there could be complications which would impinge on my lifestyle and, of course, all surgery was dangerous. In my mind I travelled back forty years when I had some pioneering surgery in Leeds General Infirmary following the emergency surgery of six years previously.

When the surgeon, whom I trusted completely from the start, asked me what I thought we should do he agreed with me that there was no alternative to surgery! It was very early in the morning and he stood by my be,d in his characteristic way. shirtsleeves rolled up and his tie tucked into his shirt with his hand behind his back  almost leaning against the wall looking directly into my eyes. This was the moment of no return, it had to be done and done as quickly as possibly. It was no longer relevant that any procedure might not work, the old was finished. I knew as he explained that he could not be sure what he would find once he had opened me up. He proceeded to tell me they would try and open the old wound along the scar line down by abdomen. Later he returned himself to get me to sign the consent form. It was just his way, unlike other surgeons he did this himself rather than delegating to a junior doctor. This was the decision I had feared would be made as it took me back to the days of 1969 and 1975 when recovery from surgery was painful and prolonged but pain control had come a long way since those days and so had the after-care which was completely absent for me.

I had my wife and three of my children around me much of the time and right up to the moment they came to wheel me off to theatre. Peter, my eldest son, was in Seattle, torn by the need to be with his wife and unborn son and wanting to be with his father, had delegated Mark, the next in line, to gather us all together that he would pray for God's healing-that was one of the most emotional and meaningful moments of my life. Stuart and Ruth were there in support and Gillian, my soul mate and devoted wife was at my side. That was a difficult time for her too as she was also helping with the care of her elderly parents as well as her, not so elderly husband. Once again the "in sickness and health" was being tested.

Today Gillian and I stand on the threshold of going to Seattle to meet my grandson and spent quality time with them. In the time of recovery I have had plenty of time to think and contemplate about many things. I am greatly indebted to a lot of people ranging from my family to the surgical and nursing team and my congregation and colleagues who had deputised for me at various engagements and have visited me but it is to God that I am the most grateful. In this society pain has been banned as something we all deserve to be protected from. Difficulty and  the challenging path of life is to be avoided but the Bible makes it clear that this is the way to fulfilment and happiness, this narrow way is the answer and antidote to the hedonistic lifestyle which has become the hallmark of 21st century western Christianity. Truth be told, in  hindsight and retrospect, I would not want to escape the last few months as I am in better condition today than I have been for  at least five years. In the end I accepted my abnormal life as normal ignorant that inside me my body was scarred and the bowel perforated to the point of  being poisoned by itself. God truly works things out for those he loves for the best and I, for one, would have it no other way. This is why we worship our God through Jesus Christ in the power of His Holy Spirit.. Does God work for our good? Yes He does and we should embrace His ways even when we are unable to understand them, that is the essence of faith, yes? Yes

At this advanced stage of my life and ministry I have come to appreciate that Christian faith is relational. Yes, I know that's hardly rocket science, but I think many people live their lives in boxes. I lived like that for many years. I used the bible as my manual of, or for, behaviour. I guess my Calvinism gave me a structure to do that. The irony of this evangelical position was that I was living life from the outside in. Those criticisms of my perception of Catholicism  were faith and works are reversed had become part of my faith.

My boxed faith provided structure and security as long as I stayed inside. In terms of living that made my life all about apologetics so the usual suspects raised their heads:abortion, homosexuality, the resurrection, speaking in tongues etc. After all these years the penny has finally dropped. The bible, which is God's inspired word is a record of God's people and how he has worked with them over the centuries and the chapter still being written is the 29th chapter of Acts. I want my life to be about winning the battle. I want to read the stories and watch the movies of people who win the battle  despite the difficulties and sometimes the battles we fight are very difficult.

.Because my faith is relational, with doctrine init and with poetry , history  mystery etc it is dynamic and does nit always give the answer simply because it asks questions about faith. The bible is about trusting God and we are called to walk by faith and nit by sight. What rocks my boat today is hearing about the struggles that people have and how they win their way through, winning the battle. I know the end of the story is that God wins because because he has already and that means we win but the battle is still to be fought. Recently I watched the remake of Karate Kid in which  this comes across very clearly:like all Hollywood productions we know the kid wins  but we get caught up with the fight and the tension asks the question," does he really win?" Of course he wins but he still has to get up of the floor after being brutally attacked. His opponent tries to break his leg but he does get up, he shows honour in the face of dishonour and courage in the heat of battle.

At this stage in my life I want to leave the box and live in the real world, not that I no longer believe in the contents of the box but I want more of the relationship and the only way to experience that is to put my faith to the test. Staying in the box raises questions which only counteract other questions. My faith is not static and fixed but dynamic because my life is changing also. The box makes me feel secure but I need testing.

The Future is SMALL

Having lots of time on my hands these days due to the emergency surgery I had over the Christmas holidays I have time to do some more reading and a little bit of writing. My family have been encouraging me to take my doctrinal dissertation as a point of departure and to flesh it out with some of my ministry memories over the last 20 plus years in various forms of ministry and in different congregations up and down this island of Ireland.. I guess the fact that few or maybe even no one might actually read what I write is not the issue but putting it down on paper could well prove therapeutic .

In preparing for my dissertation I "happened upon" a book which appealed to me greatly. It is called "the strategically SMALL church"  by Brandon J.O' Brien- at this point I chuckle to myself because the spell check has underlined in red O'Brien-the reason is that in the computer world the default spelling is always the American version of English so when an "Irish" spelling appears there is no hope of recognition but then I have the joy of informing the program of the correctness of the spelling. I had a long battle with Bakke Graduate University as i wrote for the D.Min over the spelling issue because I saw no reason for writing in, what for me is a phony way, but,in the end I decided, once they allowed me to be an exception, to tow the line and make life easier for the weaker brethren! No matter how many times the spell check is altered to make it UK friendly (never mind Irish) it always diverts back to the mother tongue!

Recently I also came across Brandon's blog (outofUR)and this piece is partly a response to it. Since confession is so good for the soul I should make some here before I declare my hand. Leslie Newbigin makes the point that the gospel cannot be declared culture free. My background and experience is such that the American obsession with "bigger is best" has escaped me. I also need to confess that, despite my apparent negative attitude to all things American I do have an American born grandson (my son is married to a lovely American girl) and I have worked with many American brothers and sisters in Christ by virtue of working on Campus Crusade staff for several years and doing my D.Min at Bakke Graduate University in Seattle so I think i have earned the right to speak as a critical friend recognising that I could be wrong that there is much in American culture which is better than the cynicism of the Irish. I need also to say that my ministry experience has been bathed in small and intimate ministries and do struggle with the notion that God ALWAYS blesses his servants with bigger and greater numbers of people.In short I do have my baggage yet I do make these comments in good faith in the hope that someone, somewhere will respond in kind.

I find myself in agreement with Mr O'Brien (I am very glad that his parents or by his own decision to spell his name in the Irish way) when he says that the issue is not really about numbers as there are good and bad or not so good congregations in both categories. The real issue, for me, is about accountability as well as authenticity and relationships across the generations. One of the strengths of my congregation in the heart of urban Belfast is that we have an inter-generational community. Sitting as we do on an inter-face between the nationalist and unionist communities our greatest opportunity for ministry is to be a people of reconciliation and while, at the present, reconciling across the peace walls is limited we can be reconciled across the generations. The fact that we meet together with our very young babies and the very elderly senior citizens has real potential for peace and harmony.

I also worry about the thinking unearthed by the political pollster John Zogby who predicts that the small church will be the most popular in the years ahead. yes people do want community. I know that the American experience is way ahead of us in this and, by comparison, community still exists here-the irony, of course is that we are also, at the very same time, fragmented and divided along community lines and within community. Living in a post Christian society the idea of a "bungalow on the Main street, not a mega structure ." is very appealing. about ten years ago I  went with a group from Belfast to a Mega church  which is well known to most Christians. I went in the hope of learning something about the mission of the church and how we might apply some lessons to our situation. It left me quite cold-yes I really enjoyed the worship, or the singing anyway and I enjoyed the company of the cool people but this world were car parking assistance is needed every Sunday and a one way system applied, where everything is done to professional standards is just a world away, its like the alternative world of avatars. The experience was also ruined because the two other key people who went from our congregation left us shortly afterwards. Now I have to say that they did not leave because of the experience but for other reasons entirely but in my mind they are linked in an unfortunate juxtaposition.

I have to agree with the challenge to the assumption that bigger is best and that god blesses his servants with more people when they are faithful. as I think of the ministry of the Old testament prophet Jeremiah I am amazed at his faithfulness in spite of apparent failure and then there is the ministry of Jesus himself as his followers left him in droves. Years and years ago i heard Howard Hendricks say that Christians are called to be faithful even ion the trenches.

What concerns me the most about the Mega Church structure is the danger of giving the impression that Christians are in the imperialist army designed to take over the world when the Bible speaks of vulnerability and poverty and weakness. Newbigin tells us, in "The Gospel in a Pluralist Society" that we should be on the side of the crushed people of the world, he tells us that all too often the church is perceived to be on the side of the rich and powerful. I have a question in my mind about the symbolism behind the massive, hotel-like structures of the (for us anyway) new non-denominational churches because I feel they are breeding a "hermeneutic of suspicion". I have a question about a church which is made up exclusively of the young and the powerful.because they say, as those made up of the grey brigade, this church is for you IF you are like us.

I think, much more positively that the while a church may be small, and the understanding of what"small" means is debatable, its missional impact can be massive. as we began to think through our mission one of our desires was that without wishing to be a big church we did want to be a church which was big, big in ideas, big in impact, big in our desire to serve a big God who was not too big to be bothered with a small people like us. I rejoice that we no longer have all those organisations which make ministry inside the building more stressful and demanding and make mission outside all but impossible.I rejoice if setting the congregation free means they can work more effectively for the peace, the welfare of the city "because as kit prospers so we prosper"

When I was a young Christian my desire was to live a significant life for God and when I began ministry I wanted to be really successful and when I was called to congregational work my dream was to be in a church with many people. I really enjoy preaching and find it easier when the church is filled to capacity and the greater that capacity the better. i find preaching to a small number very demanding. In the humour of God he sent me,initially as a student, to a number of very small congregations. There was one Sunday in Cavan Presbyterian Church when the entire congregation was my family and some friends who had come to visit us for the weekend. In my present congregation I have watched as the congregation has halved in number and that has been painful. I have never thought of myself as being called to bury a congregation. Yet, at the same time, we have been able to begin some initiative approaches to ministry in a community of division and fragmentation and I have been able to give time to working in the community outside the church to get alongside people.

Yes there are times when I am jealous of the resources of the big churches and times when I am impatient with them for an unwillingness to share what they have with those who do not have. Sometimes I wish I was called to that ministry but then I do not think I could cope at all with the responsibilities of being more of a Chief Executive Officer and less of a minister/teacher/pastor.

One plea I do make to those who have gravitated to the big causes is that they do not forget us little people as you pray and as you consider your budget for the year. do not restrict your thinking to imaging that god could not possibly bless a church by making it small, or smaller. Remember Joshua who fought against impossible numbers, remember Jeremiah who preached the need to repent and remember Jesus who was oppressed and rejected.

TRYPRAYING

If you are anything like me there will be times or have been times when you have felt like walking away from ministry. At this moment in time the thought has gone through my mind that the best thing I could do is to walk away and let someone else, more successful, take up the post. In a declining congregation there is nothing more debilitating and more challenging than to get one of those letter of resignation from a key member. I would have hoped that after ten years of working with a person the least expected would be to have a face to face conversation about the unspecified issues which have remained. Sometimes I think people loose all their sense of corporate responsibility and all sense that the minister, pastor or church leader, or whatever title they give, will actually take this personally. I understand perfectly that there are many pressures on people today and we live in a high pressure situation where the vast majority of the population have taken the decision to walk away from the Church and in a situation where passion replaces reason and reaction pro-action. I understand that we are a church in trouble-by church I mean the whole institutional church and I mean that all the churches are living in and involved in a thoroughly dysfunctional community.

For 40 years the community was torn apart by violence and sectarianism and by poverty (not the poverty of a developing nation but a poverty which touches every part of the being) and we all have our baggage but issues do not get sorted by a short conversation where the people with the issues (usually we all have issues and we need to recognise that it is not always the other person who needs sorted). Talking or even shouting at people will not do it and logical reasoning won't do it either. the only way forward is to accept people with unconditional love and allow God to do the sorting.

 I was involved in a very heated conversation where the small group of participants, when there should have been many more, were happy to point fingers or even to imagine that blame was being attributed.  and look for someone to blame. I was sitting listening and looking for an opportunity to make, what I considered, a positive contribution.This body has lost its vision and so when things go wrong they turn in on each other. This is how issues are dealt with because it is still a community under attack and on the back foot ( a cricketing term meaning to be on the defense. In this community there is a deep seated paranoia. How could you not expect the church to reflect this?

If a person, who has been deeply involved for most of their lives feels they want to walk away it is probably time to. Living in the community and ministering in the community I need to understand that sometimes things get the wrong way round and instead of the gospel challenging the community its the community that challenges the gospel. All of this drives me to the conclusion that I can do it no longer, I do not have the strength, the skill or the ability but God does. the only way forward is to bring it all to God. this is God's mission. Outside our church we have two banners saying "TRYPRAYING". 

Here is the old lesson learnt the hard way again, TRYPRAYING. Will you join with us as we pray? Every Wednesday night 7-30-9.30pm the Gathering Place ( The coffee area at the front of the church) will be open as a space for prayer. We welcome all people-we have no barriers of religion or class or profession just a desire to reflect and bring all our concerns to Jesus Christ. 

Time to walk away? Only God can tell me that, only God can tell you and only God can transform this and other communities. The Apostle Paul sets out the context of corporate and systemic sin in Ephesians 6 and pleads with his people in that great city to pray without ceasing confident that at the end of the battle they will be standing tall in victory.

Militant Atheists

I cannot say that I am an avid reader of the Daily Telegraph. In fact I would sit at a very different end of the political spectrum but I came across an article on the internet which I found interesting by Charles Moore who wrote in that newspaper, “Militant atheists: too clever for their own good”, He makes the observation that being clever appears to be high on the agenda of their creed. The main protagonists he cites are Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens (now deceased) and Professor A.C. Grayling who looks every part the philosopher complete with long sweeping hair and the pin-stripe suit used until recently to say ”Tory”. Despite their high I.Q. , and who would decry the value of intelligence, they seem to be acquiring one of the very attributes, they despise of Christians, namely intolerance and arrogance. Matthew Parris, who also writes for the same paper and is highly, articulate and effective at making his point has joined the fray. He wants faith and reason to part forever and for people to “chose your side”. I would not call myself irrational but neither would I say that reason is all that matters? If I said this I would be closing the door to the possibility of miracles. I cannot place God in a test tube and hold him up as exhibit “A”; God cannot be restricted. This is a crass way of investigating all the evidence. Surely the writer of the Telegraph article is right that they are really missing the point. The early church believers were not all that well educated but the impact they made was mighty-they were the ones who were ready to serve the community and lived lives of high moral value. Yes there are, today, Christians who say daft things and sometimes we worry too much about gaining power and prestige; we worry that the church is no longer holding the same sway as in previous generations. We are too quick to look for the glory of having the rich and famous and the powerful in our ranks but then so too are the non-believers. Nor is hypocrisy is not restricted to Christians; I dare to suggest that some who call themselves “atheist” do so because of their family upbringing and not because they have given the matter more than logical and reasoned thought, if even that. Life would be dull indeed if we were all like Mr Spock. The resurrection is not only the most historically provable claim of Christianity but it is the very bedrock of the faith which suggests that death on a cross, at the hands of men, is not only not the end but that the road travelled by God was not about the power of the world nor the power of the intellectual elite but a new hope for all men and women who occupy both the lecture theatre and the workshop, the rich and the power, and include all ethnic groups. I , for one, will not be rejected just because I am not one of the clever people.

Courage

In the wake of the comments made by Mark Driscoll I am thinking about "courage" and what it really is. It's not about the amount of Testosterone is it? It's not about strength or gifts and abilities, is it? On Wikipedia "courage is,(also bravery, boldness, fearlessness, mettle, fortitude, or intrepidity) is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation." Some pastors face physical, moral and spiritual challenges which threaten to destro them and their families. Everybody involved i ministry faces challenges but each one can imagine that their challenge is greater, more intense and dangerous than all others. When Mark Driscoll challenges British pastors with the charge of cowardise I imagine he is referring to morality. I imagine he is thinking of the pastor who backs off from declaring man to be caught in the trap of sin. I can imagine that some think, because of their ministry context were there are more than average single parent families, more unemployed than the normal and where there are gangs vying for the upper hand, they have a tougher job than those who are surrounded by wealthly, confident people whose biggest decision is whether or not to go to France of the USA for the holidays. In my 25 years of ministry I have served in both rural and urban contexts and found them both to be demanding. I have always been faced with a few people who think they can bully their way through life. What really concerns me about the testosterone type of ministry is that it seems like they think bullying their way through life is what honours God. I have no doubt that the lack of male role models is really affecting the church today but that is true in our schhools also-in another life I was a school teacher. In one of my posts I was one of only three male teachers. In my second year I was the only male teacher and even had my own staff room. If I had remained a teacher I would have been a Head teacher long before now. I have no doubt that the feminisatiion of our society has begun to go too far but I do not think going in totally the other direction will be any better. When I think of difficult times when I do believe courage was needed, I think of times when a seniour member of the church leadership set himself against me. When that person tried to bully me, and everyone else for that matter, to do what he wanted. It took a certian level of courage to stand up to this man and refuse to descend with him into the way of the world by hitting him as hard as he hit me. I have spoken to colleagues whose advice at the time was to sit my elders down and tell them what I thought about their lack of backbone in refusing to stand up to the bully. The really couragous thing was to do what was right because it was right. The pulpit was an easy way to hit back but that is not a good principle. the courageous thing to do was to apologise to those who warrented an apology but not to those who were part of the problem. When I think of the courage of jesus standing before Pilate I think of the silent one, i think of the moral courage which stood his ground but did not hit back. Niorthern ireland has had leaders who certainlyn portrayed a certain kind of courgae by insulting people and makiking fun of them. They are the people who have little or no room for compromise. When the self-styled Dr Ian Paisley now considered to be a great statesman)was leader of the Democratic Unionist Party he not only oppossed any acomodation but he lambasted any sign of weakness. That meant that one unionist leader after another starting with Terrence O'Neil in 1969 right through to David Trimble were called traitors and compromises and the call was "Never, never, nevber" to any move towards change. His more statesmanlike shift has now made him into a great moral leader who broght the province back from the brink of war to democracy. It was this kind of reactionary courage that brought us to the use of bomb and bullet. I do not think it takes courage for a speaker to stand before a congregation and let them have the truth, the whole truth and nothing biut the truth-any speaker who has had experience learns how to manipuklate a congregatio9n and how to insult and cajol the people. There are many teachers who just love to hold their people above the pit of hell. Whenever I am preaching to a large crowd I am energised so it doesn't reqire any courage to speak my mind. Courage is not needed when the speaker is distanced from his audience-either by 6,000 miles or the pulpit. It is entirely another thing when standing eyeball to eyeball with those who are being addressed. There are some ministers who will taiklor their message to suit the congregation. There is not a thing, necessarily, wrong with this and today we call that contextualisatuion but when they do so out of a desire for a quiet life that is another matter. as a minister or pastor (whatever term you want to use)it is my duty to teach people what they need to learn. It is my responsibility to try to place before them the whole counsel of God-in Northern Ireland there are some who get little further than the equivalent to the "Four Spiritual laws" but there are 66 books in the Bible. Courage is when I do what God tells me, when I refuse to be set off course by what men think. It is as true that there is a cause for concern when all men speak well of you as it is to say that we should not go out of our way to insult men. When speaking to heroes the quality that coes through to obervors is their complete lack of recognition that they have shown courage. It is also true that courage comes in different expressions- - emotional courage which faces the truth - physical courage which takes no concern for self-safety - intellectual courage which accepts the truth wherever it is found - spiritual courage which follows in the steps of Christ and finds strength in the whole armour of God - moral courage which does what is right just because it is right regardless of the consequences There are decisioons I have made because I thought they were wrong but sometimes I changed my mind later on but courage was unaffected. I have refused to do some things becuase they appeared to be wrong or to send out the wrong messages. I have erefused baptism, marriage but not because I wanted to offend them and have tried to remain on good terms- "be at peace with all men", "whenever possible" Posted by Dr. Jack Drennan at 14:19 skip to main | skip to sidebar Acts29 Crumlin Road Presbyterian This is the blog of Crumlin Road Presbyterian Church. We are a group of ordinary Christians seeking to grow in Christ. You will find announcements of events and discussions on contemporary issues. Monday, 16 January 2012 Courage?? “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” -Galatians 5:16 Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica Powered by BibleGateway.com 0 comments: Post a Comment Links to this post Create a Link Home Followers My Blog List Internet TV Jack Drennan Blog Archive January (2) December (1) November (2) June (1) August (2) May (2) March (1) February (4) January (2) November (3) October (2) August (1) May (1) March (3) January (1) November (1) September (1) August (1) July (4) March (1) November (2) September (5) Rev Dr. Jack Drennan Belfast, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom Presbyterian Minister in the Presbyterian Church in Ireland, the biggest denomination in Northern Ireland View my complete profile cluster world We welcome light from any quarter We encourage discussion and participation that will aid our understanding of the bible and how scriptural teaching is to be applied in our own culture Books •Listening to the heartbeat of God by Philip Newel Writing History Acts 29 is a way to describe the unwritten chapter that is being written by the contemporary church. The question I have to ask is why do we not experience the signs and wonders of those early Christian days? PreviewPreview

Cowardly Pastors

Well Mark Driscoll has created a stir again. He has been reported to have said 

“Let’s just say this: right now, name for me the one young, good Bible teacher that is known across Great Britain. You don’t have one – that’s the problem. There are a bunch of cowards who aren’t telling the truth.” 

In another place he takes a swipe at those "pastors" who wear gowns preferring to stir the pot by saying they wear dresses and preach to old women. In response and perhaps after mature reflection he qualifies what he said by claiming aggressive questions which lacked respect and quoted him out of context. There are a few issues raised in my mind-

In response I wonder exactly who Mark Driscoll thinks he is that he should be afforded great respect and make pronouncements about the UK from the safety of 6,000 miles

Then I wonder if he simply misunderstands British culture and fails to contextualise

But I also am willing to question if there is any truth in what he says even if he says it in an unacceptable way.

My first response is think this man is a poser  but then think more constructively.

On the back of this I have a few questions to pose

1.  Who is Mark Driscoll accountable to?

2. Who ordained him? (we have had a minister who was ordained by his father and founded his own denomination.

3. Is his problem with Orthodox, Catholic and Anglicans who all wear cassocks or with evangelicals, few of whom wear gowns? Do many American Baptists not wear choir gowns??

4. Where do we find grace in all of this?

5. Where is the power of the counter-culture, especially in a macho culture such as America and Northern Ireland. We have had preachers who could not be accused of wimping out on hell and damnation who had robbed congregations of people and been, at least partially responsible for the hatred and sectarianism which led us to the verge of destruction

6.  Do people living in difficult conditions where there are drugs and alcohol abuse and child molestation need to be told they are sinners? Most people in this culture know that the church condemns them but have not learnt that God loves them-that doesn't mean we neglect hell just that there is a way out

7. Do we need more celebrity preachers? No. Mark Driscoll makes plain from his blog, which I am told there is no right of reply, that people should not be blogging about Mark Driscoll because it is all about Jesus. Amen to that so why create the controversy? If he does not want to talk about himself then he should stop making stupid statements 

Is there any truth? Have I been a coward at times? I have no doubt that I have wimped out and taken the easy road because I am a weak human being who has been devastated by the reality of sin. Do I need Mark Driscoll to tell me I am a failure? No every morning I wake up knowing I have failed my Lord and that I am not the hero I would like to be. I do not need anyone else to beat me up what I do need is to have people alongside me who can help and encourage me.

What do I need? Well working in the inner city of loyalist/nationalist Belfast I need support, I need encouragement. The congregation needs money to do what we would like to do but I fear no help will come from Marrs Hill. 

It goes without saying that I did not know Gary Speed. In fact I know very little about him apart from the fact that among his different clubs he played for the enemy, Everton (actually unlike the average Liverpool supporter the blues are among my favourite teams after the reds). Despite my ignorance of the man I was shocked that such an apparently strong and balanced individual should take his life. It is just horrendous to imagine his wife finding him in the garage having hung himself and heart breaking that his two sons will grow up without their father. There is no point in asking the question”why?” yet we end up asking it anyway. His personal friends and supporters in the teams he played for and the Welsh national team are all dumbfounded as to why he did this and what he had gone through in private to drive him to the conclusion that everyone would be better off without him. Much has been made of the fact that he was strong and stable, that he had everything to live for in terms of family and success in life and that is what went against him in the end. The way of the world is to say that it is the strong-those who don’t need the support of other people, those who can stand on their own feet-who are the lucky ones. He had made enough money and had been famous and adored by so many football supporters. We have been told that the players loved him and played for him and he didn’t have an enemy and was without a bad bone in his body. The measure of his support was seen in the way his name was called out by the Liverpool supporters –as they sang “You’ll never walk alone” they did it for him. Yet the pressure on the strong individual to keep his problems to himself has to be strong and stifling-how can the strong person admit he has problems and is, in fact, weak? In the famous sermon given by Jesus he releases the strong suggesting that the weak are, in fact, really the strong ones, the poor are really the rich and the meek are to be congratulated. When God sent his son to earth he sent him as a weak human being rather than a mighty monarch. At Christmas we celebrate the arrival of the king of kings as a tiny baby. He comes in weakness not strength, he comes in humble circumstances not with pomp and circumstance. Hopefully when you are sick you go to the doctor so why would you not take the same course of action when your problems are in your head? The strong person is the one who can admit their difficulties and we all have difficulties and problems-maybe this terrible agony experienced by Gary Speed’s family and friends will serve to highlight this scourge which has cost too many lives. Too many people have died “before their time”. Even Christian ministers are guilty of the pretence of being strong and needing no help-don’t walk alone, you have been created by God to live in community so use your community as your support base and talk to those you can trust to help and listen. Christmas is about God coming in weak human flesh-Happy Christmas .

When people start to pray they find that things begin to change- in fact what happens is that they begin to change! How could we talk to God, face to face and not be changed? it would seem very natural that having a direct experience of God would prove to be transformational. But who can pray? Do we have to be doctrinally sound before we can p[ray? Does God only hear the prayer of the penitent before conversion? When I tried to get a prayer room established a brother let it be known that he could not take p[art in it because of the possible presence of Roman Catholics. This is not a surprise when it comes from an infant in Christ but when it comes from a mature Christian I begin to wonder. I understand that doctrinal soundness comes with experience but I should not expect all those who pray with me to share the same doctrine with me. is it not possible that God will do the changing within us and without? Lets face it the possibility of anyone knocking down the doors to pray are very slim, at the moment anyway. Pray is only the start. What we need in our city are little colonies of Christians of all denominations gathering to ask God to change them and change the city-praying for the various government departments, hospitals, churches, communities and individuals. While praying for the individual salvation of people we miss the point if that is where we stop-we need to pray for and work for the transformation of the city, for the fulfillment of the words of Isaiah `Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you" With this promise we will have peace in our community. That is something well worth praying for so we should be encouraging those islands of prayer.

It really seems to me that the time has come for us to take the battle to the enemy. Then time for sitting back is over, we neeed to fight with the weapons we have-the full Armour of God. At the end of Ephesians Paul tells the Christians to pray and Jesus calls the temple a House of Prayer. In our congregation we are too weak to do anything else but pray, we are too small and insignificant to do anything else. Over the next few years we will spend our time developing the congregation into a place and space for prayer. In recent days some political and community leaders have called for the walls of Belfast to be dismantled while others have said that it is still too soon for this to happen-the people living close to the walls are not ready, they still feel threatened and need the protection offered by the walls. If the church of Jesus Christ really is the gift of God to the community as St Augustine claimed it to be then we need to fight with God chose gifts and that has to include prayer-prayer for the transformation of the community-the question remains to be "how do we turn the church into a House of Prayer?

Church for Beginners

It's Sunday morning and I arrive for the morning service of worship at the church. It's just gone 10am and the streets around the church are packed with people. Already the cars are parked on the pavement, all round the church and even across the church gateway. I am pretty sure that it is illegal to park a car close to a corner and even surer that parking at the traffic lights is asking for a ticket. The crowds start arriving from the early morning, rain , hail or snow, even on Easter Sunday. From what my mother tells me it must have been like this in the 40s and 50s when people walked to church or to work each day. Is this some kind of spiritual revival? Will we have to consider building a new church to hold all these worshipers? Alas no is the answer, they are not arriving for our church; they are not arriving for any church, as we know it. They have found a new way of worshiping and a new church to attend. This church serves their needs to browse and to shop, to talk with their friends and to do so at their ease. It also allows them to take part as a shopper or as a seller. This is the new Sunday observance. The swings are no longer locked up on the Lord's Day and the traders do not stay at home. In fact this corner of Tennent Street is busy only on this one day.

We respond in a number of ways: we get angry when our members ( some of them are very elderly)are unable to find a place to park their cars. I have phoned the police very often and they have come and they do give out tickets but this people power has continued regardless. The PSNI cannot control the situation even though, it could be said, that there is "an accident waiting to happen" unless the control is increased. To help alleviate this problem we opened a small space for members to park only to find that the gateway is regularly blocked by parked cars. Secondly, we can, and we do, complain about the inconvenience when forced to drive around the area looking for a space. We understand that the Queens Highway is not ours but we have come to expect to be able to park at the church and not have to go half a mile away.

Another possible way of looking at this is to embrace the situatuion as an opportunity for ministry. We have tried to do this by setting up a prayer ministry in the market each Sunday. Over the weeks dozens of people have come to the person sitting at the table to talk and to bring their prayer requests. Some are looking for general prayers for the welfare of their family but others have really complex and difficult situations that they seek help with.

Its no secret that the church in the UK is on the retreat when compared to the situation 50 years ago. Even in Northern Ireland, where 45% of the population are still making the Sunday journey to worship, that is considerably fewer than it used to be. Against this we have this success story and I wonder how any of these people would feel if they decided to cross the street and come to church one week. Would they feel welcome, strange, included or excluded?

They might feel that they had to dress up before coming and that's not the way of the world today. They would probably feel ill at ease when asked to sing ancient hymns using words in a foreign way and they would probably not have any cash to put into the plate as it came round. How would they know when to stand, and when to sit. Do they need to close their eyes when praying? Can they bring food and drinks with them and can they talk at all?

I wonder if they would come back again the next week. If we are going to expect outsiders to come to our church we will need to have some understanding of the cultural difficulties and be ready to make the changes that are necessary to make. Each week as I turn the corner and see the crowds, just feet away from my church I have the fleeting thought that they could be coming to church and we could be faced with the thought that our building is not big enough but then reality returns and I wonder what we need to do to make contact with some of these people and what would we need to change to make them feel welcome among us. The question form us and all churches has to be how to make then outsiders feel like insiders.

To be completely honest I also wonder how they could be encouraged to give us a little of this space we thought was ours. outsiders feel like insidders

Several years ago I was on a plane going from Belfast to Turino in Northern italy. That meant taking a beautiful flight path over the snow covered Alps. As we approached the mountain range the captain invited anyone us to come to his cabin to see the view that he saw. (This was, quite obviously before 9/11). I don't really know why but I did not take up this offer, I think it was because I had a very good view out of the window where I was sitting but I am sorry that I remained where I was. It would have been great to see what he saw and to fro the front seat but that is all water under the bridge now but I missed an opportunity!

I was reminded of this as I read Eric Swanston and Rick Rusaw ("The Quest")who describe tweo kinds of church: the one best imagined as sitting in the isle seats and the other sitting in thw window seats. In the isle we are totally immersed in the workings of the aircraft, while sitting in the window seat shifts the gaze to the world outside the plane. Church life can take up all ouir thinking and take up all our time. Just keeping the machinery ticking over zaps the energy and restricks the vision. William Temple was right when he described the church as the only organisatiion designed for the benifit of non-members, but all too often it works for the benifit of the members and becomes a closed club.

Which seat do you sit in when you go to church? Some will always go to the back and sit in the seat closest to the door. I know a member of my church who always sits in splendid isolation and another yopu will always go and get another seat even if there is just the right nuyuimber set out open and others-go to church which seat do you sit in? Some always sit in the same seat. Some always sit at the back of the church. I have seen people go into a church which is less then half full and sit in the very last seat in the back row. Others go to church and sit back in a difiant pose, with arms crossed, daring the preacher to amuse or challenge them. Then there are some who take a seat close to the action where they can relate to the speaker.

I am not the first to speak of a religionless Christianity or of being a Christian without being religious but I do believe that the day has come for authentic Christianity to leave religion behind or , at least the bad side of religion. I say the bad side as I am aware that the meaning behind that word 'religion' is to bind people together. In our society 'religion' does the very opposite, it divides. It divides because the religious are prone to the hypocricy that Jesus dispised but also because, in this society, sectarianism has such an endemic stronghold.

It is now vital for us to 'be church' rather than to 'go to church', to look beyond ourselves and to seek ways to strengthen our members that they can 'be church' as they rub shoulders with people wherever they are. Some Christians are content to use the bible in the same way as they would use the car manual or they are happy to seek out the nice promises of scripture like the 'promise box' of an oler age but the bibnle is not a manual, its not even a repository of good things, it is the story of God's covenantal relationship with his people. At the very heart of the bible is the 'missional heart' of God the aFather who sent His son into the world, in the power of His Holy Spirit. It is God's love story so lets stop looking for the verses that prove what we want to prove , lets accept that life is messy and that we do not have all the answers. Lets just sit with God in the seat he has given us and live our lives by faith in Him.

Which Seat Are You Sitting In?

Several years ago I was on a plane going from Belfast to Turino in Northern italy. That meant taking a beautiful flight path over the snow covered Alps. As we approached the mountain range the captain invited anyone us to come to his cabin to see the view that he saw. (This was, quite obviously before 9/11). I don't really know why but I did not take up this offer, I think it was because I had a very good view out of the window where I was sitting but I am sorry that I remained where I was. It would have been great to see what he saw and to fro the front seat but that is all water under the bridge now but I missed an opportunity!

I was reminded of this as I read Eric Swanston and Rick Rusaw ("The Quest")who describe tweo kinds of church: the one best imagined as sitting in the isle seats and the other sitting in thw window seats. In the isle we are totally immersed in the workings of the aircraft, while sitting in the window seat shifts the gaze to the world outside the plane. Church life can take up all ouir thinking and take up all our time. Just keeping the machinery ticking over zaps the energy and restricks the vision. William Temple was right when he described the church as the only organisatiion designed for the benifit of non-members, but all too often it works for the benifit of the members and becomes a closed club.

Which seat do you sit in when you go to church? Some will always go to the back and sit in the seat closest to the door. I know a member of my church who always sits in splendid isolation and another yopu will always go and get another seat even if there is just the right nuyuimber set out open and others-go to church which seat do you sit in? Some always sit in the same seat. Some always sit at the back of the church. I have seen people go into a church which is less then half full and sit in the very last seat in the back row. Others go to church and sit back in a difiant pose, with arms crossed, daring the preacher to amuse or challenge them. Then there are some who take a seat close to the action where they can relate to the speaker.

I am not the first to speak of a religionless Christianity or of being a Christian without being religious but I do believe that the day has come for authentic Christianity to leave religion behind or , at least the bad side of religion. I say the bad side as I am aware that the meaning behind that word 'religion' is to bind people together. In our society 'religion' does the very opposite, it divides. It divides because the religious are prone to the hypocricy that Jesus dispised but also because, in this society, sectarianism has such an endemic stronghold.

It is now vital for us to 'be church' rather than to 'go to church', to look beyond ourselves and to seek ways to strengthen our members that they can 'be church' as they rub shoulders with people wherever they are. Some Christians are content to use the bible in the same way as they would use the car manual or they are happy to seek out the nice promises of scripture like the 'promise box' of an oler age but the bibnle is not a manual, its not even a repository of good things, it is the story of God's covenantal relationship with his people. At the very heart of the bible is the 'missional heart' of God the aFather who sent His son into the world, in the power of His Holy Spirit. It is God's love story so lets stop looking for the verses that prove what we want to prove , lets accept that life is messy and that we do not have all the answers. Lets just sit with God in the seat he has given us and live our lives by faith in Him.

Everybody is an Expert

Everybody is an expert today. We are the only region of the United Kingdom where there are three hours set aside every day for the public to air their opinions: what we call “gernin”.

Every day people phone into the BBC to complain about this and that. and some of the presenters wind them up, showing little or no respect for politicians, police or civic leaders. The problem is not in the expression of opinion but in the fact that they all really believe that they know best without taking up the responsibility to do something themselves. Take a walk in the park or on the street and pretty soon you will see the litter lying around and everyone leaves the picking of it up to someone else, paid or unpaid.

Fortunately, for us all, God took responsibility and sent his son into the world so that we could receive forgiveness, and live for ever.

With Regret....

Maybe it’s because I am getting old and have trouble with change [the “your sitting in my pew” syndrome in church] or maybe it’s just because I like to support the perceived underdog but I really have a lot of sympathy for Gordon Browne. It may also be because he is Scottish and a son of the manse working in among all those English who resented so many Scots in the labour administration or simply because the press began the criticism which gathered such a head of steam which became a torrent so that even if it was all untrue it was perceived as true. My family would probably go for the former but actually I see it somewhat differently. Observing the way that Mr Browne conducted himself in these last days of his government has increased my admiration for him. I can well believe that he had a short fuse and he certainly goofed when he was caught with his microphone on.
We have all heard of the minister who was “caught” talking to people in the minister’s room without realising that his lapel microphone was on. I know this is true because I have done this , at least, once. It happened at a wedding and I was saved by my wife who came to the minister’s room to tell me: fortunately the conversation was completely benign. If I had said something confidential or controversial it would have been something different. That incident with Gillian the pensioner left its indelible mark but, for me, it left the measure of the man. When he realised what he had done he went directly to apologise in person. He could have remained at a distance and sent his apology but, contrary to political wisdom, he did it face to face even thought that gave the press the opportunity to report it in greater depth. As for the critics, I have less admiration: I know they have a job to do in reporting the news but a good few of them were happier to question his motives than report it as being done in good faith and with genuine sorrow. When Tony Blair was coming to the end of his premiership just about everyone said they were tired of the spin and the slick appearance of New Labour but it was not long before the slick performance of the Nick and Dave , or Davy as his wife calls him, Show was hailed as prime ministerial material.
It is difficult for the ordinary person to know what to believe about the difference between reality and perception but we must be a little cynical about the rehabilitation of the relationship between the two men who lead their perspective parties. Politics is politics. What I know is that the Bible has something to say about making mistakes and even doing wrong and how to handle human frailty. Even the flawless political performer remains a sinner before God and we are all entitled [because of the grace of God] to forgiveness but equally we are all called to make apology for our sins to those we have sinned against. The church is not for the perfect people any more than is the political arena: we are all sinners and we stand before God in human solidarity ready to accept God’s forgiveness. Gordon Browne could have sent his regrets by letter or email or even, horror of horrors, by text but he did it personally and I think that should be credited to him.

A true friend

January 2000 Trevor and Kyle arrived a our back door with two adorable pups. They had been left abandoned in the ditch at he foot of our garden, left to die or for someone to have pity on them. They never left us: Gillian said she thought they had Rottweiler eyes. The decision was taken to take them in and give them a home. A decision we never regretted. They were no longer two brown puppies now they were Fox and Sox, full of energy and fun, unless you were a small fury friend. We had to keep them away from sheep and they did, on a couple of occasions manage to kill a gosling and a few rabbits.

Over the last ten years they became my faithful friends. When life was difficult and some people made life difficult for me they were there as faithful as ever. Peter taught them to fetch and leave the stick or ball a his feet and to "Speak", I learnt that if Sox spoke Fox soon came to find him even if he failed to come to my call. Stuart became my deputy who looked after then when I was away and he did so with such love and commitment. Both Sox and Fox stole our hearts.

Every morning they greeted me with a wag of their tails and an eager expectation of getting into the back of the car in the hope of going for a walk: Sox demanded that sticks or balls were thrown and he retrieved them time without number and Fox dandered off to do his own thing, caring little for this strange act of retrieval unless it was feathered or woolly:today Fox is leaning to live on his own. Just as the dreaded cancer takes so many people so it threatens the doggy world. Up until Sunday morning Sox was apparently living a normal life; constantly being admired by people who have become his friends but then he failed to get up out of bed. He just lay motionless with his eyes open but unable to move even his head to get some water. At first I thought nothing of it: perhaps he was having a bad day like most of us and after all he was getting old but by Sunday afternoon, when we returned from church, to find him still motionless the alarm bells began to ring. I phoned the emergency Vet who said I should bring him in immediately. The initial thought was that he had eaten some rat poison because his blood was not coagulating. Fox was summoned to play the big brother hero by donating some blood but when nothing had changed on Monday we all began to realise that it was something else. The Vet did some other tests and another scan was taken. Then came the devastating news that he had a massive tumour and would only live for a few days. We could take him home to die but we did not want him to suffer just so that we could have him for another day. We all went to see him and soon realised that life was not great for him and the kindest thing would be to "let him go",

The Vet gave him an injection and we gathered round him to embrace him in his final minutes and very quickly he died. We told him that we loved him, even though he had no idea what we were saying but he died with the sound of our voices in his ears. We also told him that he was a great wee dog and brought him home to bury him in our garden.

I will never forget this faithful wee dog whose sole purpose in life was to please his master and that he did, I wonder how many of us humans could say that our sole purpose was to please our master? Sox was only a dog but to me he was a gift sent to me by God.